Well I've made it thorugh the week without any overeating. Hopefully the cycle has been broken.
J and I had a pretty serious conversation on wednesday....kind of came out of left field and I was surprised at what he had to say. Essentially I think he's been hurt and discouraged by the fact that I've been saying no a lot when he asks me to do things. He feels like I make time for everyone else, but not for him and said he would appreciate it if I could be a little more spontaneous and be willing to put my work aside sometimes to do things with him. He mentioned that he feels like our friendship used to be completely on his terms and now its become all on my terms. I was shocked that he even recognized this because this was one of my main complaints with out relationship and I hated that he had all the power. Have the roles really reversed? I would hate to think that I am making him feel the way I did. I wouldn't wish that upon someone.
Overall, I was surprised that he was feeling this way because I often feel as though he really only wants to spend time with me when there is no one more exciting around. Honestly, I didn't really think that he cared that much and I feel bad that I am hurting his feelings.
However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that his expectations of me are in some ways unreasonable. He's my FRIEND, not my boyfriend, so I don't really owe him any of my time. Would he ask that of anyone else? I feel like he has higher expectations of me than the girl he is dating. Why?? Its not normal.